I am a big proponent of writing letters to our loved ones. There is a timeless, special, and endearing aspect of letter writing that I believe can help cultivate more trust and connection between you and your daughter. The letter does not have to be very long and can include a quote, bible verse, or some of your own words of wisdom as a father. These letters or notes can be daily, weekly, or at random times to give your daughter an emotional boost or sense of security. Here are some other elements you may want to include in that letter to your daughter:
“I love you with all of my heart and soul and don’t you ever forget that.”
Consistent expressions of love cannot be overdone. The more fathers say it, the more deeply it is appreciated. She’s less likely to look for love “in all the wrong places” when she knows her dad will always be there…
“I believe in you”
And here is why:
You’re my daughter and I love you.
I trust you.
You’re talented and driven.
“I know you’re beautiful”
Not just on the outside but how much you appreciate the beauty of who she is becoming on the inside.
“You make me proud in many ways”
I am proud of how you are becoming more independent with your studies
I am proud of how you treated and assisted your sister when she needed help with her homework
No need to make stuff up, just affirm what she is doing that gives you a sense of pride
“Let me tell you about the day you were born”
You may or not be a writer, but you can share some of the emotions you felt that day.
You were such a beautiful baby from the first moment and my heart melted holding you for the first time.
Because of you, I love my spouse ten times more than what I thought was possible.
I remember thinking you are the luckiest baby in the world because you have the best dad in the world and vice versa!
“Never settle for second best”
Dads want the best for their daughters, but it’s time she takes ownership of that mantra.
Use the gifts and talents you’ve been given.
Treat your body with respect and teach others that it is to be respected.
Spend your life with someone who loves you like I do.
Explain why: she was created in love and with a purpose. She was created to both live and love at capacity. That requires the very best.
“Sometimes my love makes me worry”
Be honest about the way your love for her makes you concerned. Tell her prospective boyfriends are going to have to pass more than the eye test, not because you don’t trust her but because you love her. Tell her you need her to reassure you sometimes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
These are all valuable elements to include in these letters or notes to her. I hope that you too as a dad will see the value in reaffirming and reassuring your daughter(s) that you will always be there and no one can take away your special bond…
Also, see “10 things to write in a letter to your daughter”
Always remember to tell your child (and yourself) the following each day:
- Believe in yourself
- Love yourself
- You were born for special reasons
- Look for ways to help others today
- Your primary purpose is to discover what your unique talents are (that no one else in the world has)
Dr. Gerald Brown is a parenting coach and counselor. If you would like to learn more you are welcome to call and book an appointment or fill out the contact form and click send.