Are you willing to participate in an experiment? It won’t take long. Just follow these directions:
List the last five things your child did that required your redirecting or reminding:
Now list the last five things your child did well, correctly and without reminding.
Which task did you find easier to do? Most of us have little trouble listing the things our kids have done incorrectly. However, when we are asked to list all the positive, rewarding things our kids have done, we can have more difficulty.
These two prompts can help us begin to reframe how we discipline, acknowledge, and guide our kids.
I encourage you to write these prompts down or type them out and paste them on your mirror or another easily accessible place. This way you have a constant reminder of what you choose to focus on. If as parents we choose to focus on our kids’ shortcomings they will, in turn, show us more of their shortcomings.
We have to decide today to make efforts to compliment, encourage, and validate the positive behavior we see in our kids so they learn to associate good things with their positive actions.
I would encourage all of us parents to use the 75/25 rule in which we encourage 75% of the time and redirect 25% of the time.
If you would like assistance
If you would like help for yourself or for your child or teenager you are welcome to call me to book an appointment or fill out my contact form.